It's been a difficult time.
This morning we lost Norman, my father-in-law.
Having been taken by cancer, his decline towards the end was very rapid. It is a cruel disease.
Small mercies though that he didn't linger on and didnt really suffer and left peacefully in the company of his wife and children. I guess a lot of people would ultimately choose to go like this and it is a gift bestowed on too few.
A lot of my weekend has been spent in a small room in a care home.
It was obvious it was drawing to an end yesterday and I stayed for a few hours.
I eventually came home to see to the dogs and was advised to get what sleep I could and not to come back.
I agonised over wether to return. I wanted to be there for Mike and for Norman.
Ultimately I didn't feel safe to drive in the small hours so decided to get a couple of hours sleep if I could and head back early this morning.
He passed at 4.15 so it wasn't meant to be.
I feel terrible that I wasn't there to kiss his cheek, say goodbye and comfort his son. I think I may always regret that.
I feel helpless that this was happening at all and there's nothing any of us could do to alter it.
All we can do now is be there to comfort each other and offer our support. Be strong when someone else is weak.
Mike has slept for hours. He didn't leave his dad's side. I can't imagine the mental and physical exhaustion that he's under.
But I'll be here to hold his hand, hug him, show him my love and simply be with him. There's nothing else I can do.
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